How many pairs of jeans do you own? No really, I’m actually asking because I don’t know what a “normal” amount is.
I’ve bought a pair of jeans and it made me rethink a lot of my choices in 2024.
To back up for a minute — I love the movement towards slow and sustainable fashion. While sustainability is something I’ve thought about for a long time outside of fashion, the last couple years have been eye opening for me.
Yes, I’ve bought from fast fashion brands in the past (in fact this post contains one). Yes, I’ve been guilty ‘decluttering’ items from my closet within 2 years of purchasing it. Yes, I’ve bought “same item in multiple colours” only to have those other colours languish unused in my wardrobe.
But, and I’m not the only person to have this thought, I’m also a woman in her 30s navigating a changing body. I’m also still trying to find my personal style after finally being in the working world long enough to be able to afford “nicer” clothes. I’m also someone who considers fashion a hobby, and wearing clothes that I love and that communicate something unique to the world is important to my identity.
In 2025, with so. many. scary. things. happening in the world – it’s frankly f&*#ing difficult out here.
Before I go on, here are some other amazing writers who have made me think about the balance between consumption and honouring my body through all of life’s phases:
It all started when I tried on a pair of wide leg denim from COS. These ones to be exact:
Actually, we need to back up. Starting this substack made me finally start taking photos of my outfits. I’ve said it before, but this was truly transformational. It really accelerated my journey to finding my personal style which had started at least 6 months prior (and really I’ve been on this journey for most of my life).
To my dismay, while I realized that I have a lot of great items that I love, the jeans I spent last year praising (and purchased in 3 different washes) were maybe not giving exactly what I wanted them to give.
It’s not that they look bad per se, but the silhouette just always feels off for me. I’m not a straight leg girl, and while they helped me get over my hangups around sizing, I’ve struggled to feel like they fit my style anymore. I also bought them around a time where my body changed a little bit, and deciding that I wanted jeans that didn’t make me feel like a stuffed sausage was the big win for me at that time.
Oh the embarrassment! After confidently stating that I had found my perfect jeans, and invested in multiple washes – I was having doubts. And all within the period of only a year!
So anyway I bought the COS jeans. And after a week at home with them I realized – THIS is how I want to look and feel in my jeans (much to my dismay).
Immediately I pulled saved images from my various sources of inspiration and it looking like this:
Searching, searching, searching. At one point I was considering spending $400 on jeans (by far more than I’ve ever spent). Me obsessively googling “how many pairs of jeans should one person have?!” I previously had 3 that fit and I wore regularly over the last 8-12 months. Is that a normal amount? A small amount? Too many?!
My criteria:
Must be wide leg – I was looking for a 25” leg opening
Medium-blue wash
Long enough to touch the ground (I’m sorry, I just like long slouchy jeans)
Either high or low rise (I don’t really like mid-rise)
Fabric composition –
After obsessively searching, I ended up ordering 5 pairs of jeans from Abercrombie of all places in a variety of sizes (I feel bad about this, but I also don’t know what size will work – another can’t win situation). I told myself “I’ll just give them a try”.
I do love them, I do feel great in them, I do feel like they ‘fix’ so many outfits that felt off and uncomfortable with my old jeans. I feel good in the jeans, I’ve tried them on and they fit perfectly into my wardrobe. I love that they don’t feel weirdly slim on my thighs and give me a truly wide leg. But I also feel something else – guilt.
While I don’t know that I’ve reconciled with this guilt, it did cause to be reflect on this purchase decision. While there are certainly more important things going on in the world and even in my own life, this little obsession caused me to think a lot about the role that jeans play for me and what I should look for BEFORE ordering anything:
Jeans are such a staple in my wardrobe; I wear them 90% of the time whether it’s to work, date nights, dinners with friends – anywhere. And while I have a pair of black trousers that I pull out occasionally, denim will always be my go-to.
I actually do want more variety in my jeans now (I previously owned 3 pairs of jeans, all the same style in different washes). I actually love having pairs with slightly different fits that give different looks (e.g. low rise for a more slouchy “cool” look, vs high rise for a more polished put-together element).
I’ve accepted that what is wide leg on a model (or in the description!) may not be wide leg on me. I am blessed with bigger hips and thighs, and this almost always changes the way a jean hangs.
Using measurements is the key. This time around, I was obsessively measuring my jeans – and not just the waist – before committing to ordering. What is the inseam? What is the leg width? What is the width at the hips? If I can’t rely on the photos, I need to use something a little more scientific.
To be clear, my feelings on this are not resolved. This, rather unfortunately, is not one of those times where writing about it revealed a nugget of wisdom that I can share with you all. But rather, I’m posting this because maybe you’ve felt it to.
There is so much guidance about wearing what you love, wearing what makes you happy. But what if you don’t know yet? What if you think you know, invest in that, only to discover a year later that you didn’t experiment enough?
This feels like it’s just another difficult way to be a woman in the world. The “do XYZ, but don’t do it too much!”. Be fashionable but don’t shop. Wear clothes that look amazing, but if your body changes, it’s your responsibility to fit BACK into those clothes because buying new clothes is irresponsible.
I KNOW that you can’t shop your way to personal style, but it is so much more nuanced than that. A recent (and brilliant) article by Sushimita is one of the best things I’ve read on here, and she talks about how in many ways, a no buy or low buy is advocated for by fashionable people with A LOT of beautiful clothing.
But at the same time, am I just justifying another purchase? What is the line between responsible and irresponsible when it comes to experimenting and finding personal style?
For now, I’m going to forgive myself. I bought the jeans and it feels like they’re more aligned with my authentic style and body shape. I’m excited to have started building a wardrobe that I actually love and feels like me. But I’m watching closely to make sure it doesn’t spiral into a full blown shopping addiction. And I think, for right now, that’s ok.
I would love to hear from all of you about how you reconcile this – being a conscious and responsible shopper while also recognizing that feeling like yourself and feeling good in your clothing is important to you. xx